The Tonight Show with Mario and Luigi
by iSqueakers
Summary: The Mario gang, Koopas, and even some minions of Count Bleck are involved. Several mini shows are conducted by said members, along with an interview with two certain characters at the end! Come in and join in on the fun! IF YOU WANT TO SEND A QUESTION, PLEASE READ THE 3 GUIDELINES ON THE FIRST CHAPTER. Next interview: Luigi and Daisy.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I promise I'll finish a story before posting a new one! **

A camera somewhere in the studio pans around, eventually focusing on a stage with chairs Mario and Luigi are sitting on.

"Hey everyone! Welcome to the Tonight Show!" Mario greeted.

"This show will have several episodes consisting of numerous mini shows, along with an interview with two characters!" Luigi continued, "We will provide information on how you all can contribute at the end of tonight's show. Anyway, before we get to the roll of things, let's see the hosts of the mini shows!"

The audience starts applauding as Mario announced, "First show: 'Beethoven's Tenth' with Ludwig von Koopa!"

**Beethoven's Tenth with Ludwig von Koopa**

"The name's Ludwig. Ludwig von Koopa," Ludwig actually greeted without his typical accent, "You see, back in the real world, Ludwig van Beethoven only composed nine symphonies. So, to make his tenth one, I started a singing competition so I can compose the tenth one for him, since his ninth symphony has people singing in it. Anyway, let's get on to the show!"

Ludwig is then seen with three people: Rosalina, Dry Bones and Goombario.

"Anyway! You three have been invited to sing an audition for Beethoven's Tenth! Rosalina, let's start with you! Sing any song you want to!"

Rosalina smiled and nodded, "Okay. Here I go! I REALLY NEED YOU BABY! NO STARSHIP IN THAT STUPID UNIVERSE CAN SPLIT YOU FROM ME! YOU'RE SWEET; YOU'RE SPICAYYYY; WHO NEEDS PEPPERS AND STAR BITS WHEN I HAVE YOU BABYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

Rosalina sings in such a high voice at the last syllable, that Ludwig and the other contestants had to plug their ears.

"Oww! If Beethoven had to deal with that, no wonder why he became deaf!" Ludwig gasped as he unplugs his ears, seeing that Rosalina is done, "Anyway! Dry Bones! You go!"

"… … …! …! …..! ….? ….!" the Dry Bones clattered. Ludwig begins crying suddenly.

"*SNIFF* That was… SO BEAUTIFUL! And those lyrics are so touching! Goombario, your turn!"

Goombario takes in a deep breath, getting prepared to sing, "OOOOH BABY GIRL! I CAN READ YOU LIKE A BOOK TONIGHT! IF YOU WERE A BOOK, YOU'D BE AN ARCHAEOLOGY BOOK! BECAUSE THOSE INTEREST ME THE MOST! NOT BECAUSE YOU'RE OLD! OOOOOH YEAHHHHHH…"

Ludwig begins nodding to the song Goombario is singing, smiling a bit as he is listening to Goombario's song about archaeology, "Alright. The viewers in the audience will vote for who the winner is! Audience members of the Tonight Show, cast your votes!"

~7~7~7

The audience stirs from their near-sleep, and, moving like zombies, they each cast a vote on their favorite singer.

~7~7~7

"ALRIGHT! The results are up! The winner of this round of Beethoven's Tenth is…" Ludwig began to announce.

The three characters stare at Ludwig in anticipation.

"… DRY BONES?!" Ludwig shouted with a shocked voice. However, he quickly hides his look of shock with one of happiness, 'CONGRATULATIONS DRY BONES! Rosalina and Goombario, thank you for coming today! Sorry to hear about you two not making it!"

"Okay," Rosalina smiled.

"Thanks for the opportunity I guess…" Goombario sadly muttered.

"And that's it for Beethoven's Tenth! See us next time for more contestants singing for a spot for the soon-to-be-legendary tenth symphony!" Ludwig announced as the camera ends its transmission.

~7~7~7~7~7

"And there's show one!" Mario concluded.

"Ludwig… He can be Kooky sometimes," Luigi mused as the audience laughs at what he said.

"Hahahaha! Anyway the next mini show in our series will be a show dedicated to pranking!" Mario informed, "Let's get to the second mini show!"

**Oh For Pranking Out Loud! with Lemmy Koopa**

The camera is dead-on to Lemmy's face, and nothing but Lemmy can be seen.

"It's me, your fun-loving Koopa, Lemmy! Today, we will do something that… a certain girl will hate me forever for doing! But let's get to it!"

The camera eventually zooms out, revealing Lemmy holding a bottle of itching powder. Lemmy points to the itching powder and boasts a huge smile.

"Onwards to Peach's castle!"

Lemmy gets on a doomship, drives off to the princess's castle. Mario and Luigi, knowing of Lemmy's prank, distract the princess by having her tag along with them on a walk. After awhile, Lemmy finally finds Peach's personal bathroom.

"Now, for you guys who want to do this at home, grab the girl's hairdryer…"

Lemmy picks up Peach's pink hairdryer.

"… Dump the bottle of itching powder into the hairdryer… You know where the air comes out..."

Lemmy dumps all the itching powder into the hairdryer.

"Then wait until she turns it on!"

Lemmy puts the hairdryer down and hides behind Peach's bed, then waits for the arrival of the princess. That's when Peach storms in, her hair appearing to be wet.

"Good," Lemmy whispered to the camera, "The Mario Brothers did their part of the plan. Now to watch MY part!"

Almost instantly, Peach points the hairdryer to her head and turns it on. A HUGE cloud of itching powder descends in her hair, on her neck and even on her face.

"AAAAAAAUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH!" Peach screamed as her scalp, neck and face begins to itch so much that it's starting to burn.

"Hehehehe…. You can always use baby powder as an alternative method…" Lemmy giggled as Peach starts to scream even more, "Anyway! Back to you Mario!"

~7~7~7~7~7

"Lemmy Lemmy Lemmy… He's a wacky one isn't he," Mario stated.

"He sure is… He and Ludwig are both goofballs," Luigi replied, "Anyway, let's get to the next show!"

**Ring of Fire with Roy Koopa**

"Hello, I'm Roy Koopa, also known as a badass. I figured out that I was a badass when I started playing Mario Kart. Instead of pressing START like it tells me to, I pressed the A button! I'm a badass!" Roy introduced.

The camera zooms out, and Roy is seen standing near a ring. Both Goombella and Flurrie are in the ring.

"Here in this mini show, we just watch two or more people fight. Easy and straight to the point. Let's START!"

Roy rings the bell; however, Goombella and Flurrie start arguing with each other first.

"FLURRIE! MARIO LOVES ME MORE, OKAY?!" Goombella shot.

"Lies! My dear Mario loves me! During our adventure in Paper Mario, he purposely held X for a long time just so he can feel my body-"

"YOU SICK W-"

"No, I'm not sick. I feel just fine," Flurrie smiled.

"WELL I ACTUALLY KISSED MARIO BEFORE!" Goombella shouted.

"SO HAVE I! I have while he held the X button dearie."

"Whatever, he always pressed the X button to hear me talk!" Goombella rolled her eyes.

"Dearie, he surgically removed the X button while he had you out," Flurrie smirked, "You're annoying as hell."

"You need to learn to wear a bra!"

"Hey, at least I have stuff a bra can cover!"

"I WEAR THEM TOO!"

"What cup size? Training?" Flurrie fired.

The audience oohs at the comeback Flurrie fires back. Goombella looks like she is pissed.

"LOOK MISS SPIRIT GIRL, you need to cover up them puppies!"

"Atleast I have puppies to cover up, dearie. You gave yours up for adoption years ago," Flurrie replied coolly.

Once again, the audience oohs, along with isolated shouts of 'YOU JUST GOT BURNED'.

Goombella looks like she's about to explode. Not wanting to take anymore of this verbal thrashing, Goombella launches herself at Flurrie, tackling the purple wind spirit to the ground.

"YOU WILL REGRET SAYING THAT!" Goombella shouted.

"AND YOU WILL REGRET TACKLING ME!" Flurrie

Goombella headbonks Flurrie a few times, furthering delaying the recovery time of Flurrie. For a moment, it looks like Flurrie is being beaten up by a goomba gal with a short temper, but…

"Take THIS!" Flurrie shouted as she blew Goombella into the distance. Cheers erupted from the audience members as Flurrie flexes, "Thank you! Thank you all!"

"And the winner is-" Roy starts to announce, but Goombella somehow finds her way back to the ring.

"NOT SO FAST, HOE! Take THIS!" Goombella screamed as she headbonks Flurrie once again. Flurrie collapses on the floor. Roy holds up Goombella's… arm.

"WINNER is GOOMBELLA!" Roy announced as Goombella blows kisses to the audience. Flurrie then got up and hugs Goombella, "Yes! And this is the end of Ring of Fire, a show with fights faker than Jerry Springer! I mean more real! I'm Roy Koopa, signing out. Back to you!"

~7~7~7~7~7

"Dang! Nothing better than a catfight!" Mario said.

"Especially a heated one!" Luigi added.

"To be honest... I probably did hold X too long with Flurrie..." Mario admitted.

"Uh oh bro! Peach's gonna go mad woman on you! I think she's on her estrogen pattern!"

"'Estrogen pattern'? Really now? Just say the whole thing! It's a freaking late-night TV show!"

"I prefer not to. You know what I mean!" Luigi defended.

"Whatever. Now let's go to Iggy Koopa, who apparently has two shows. He hasn't started the other show yet, so let's see his first show!"

**Cranium Gym by Iggy Koopa**

"Greetings! My name is Iggy Koopa, and I will teach you a lesson on biology! First, let's learn about cells. What exactly is a cell? Well, y'all, it's something you can't live without! But did you know there's two different kinds of cells? Here, let me show you through an analogy."

Iggy then pulls out an iPhone.

"First off, this is a plant cell. All plants exhibit this kind of cell. You can tell this is a plant cell because it has this weird apple thing with a bite mark on it. Now, the next cell."

Iggy then pulls out an Android cellphone.

"This is an animal cell. All you need to memorize is that the mascot is a green alien-looking thing. That is an animal."

Iggy then puts the two cellphones away.

"Last, there are cancer cells. They are bad to have. VERY bad! If you exhibit a group of cancer cells, it is called a tumor."

The camera pans over a tumor on the table, composing of Windows phones, Nokias, brick phones and the rest of the more unheard of brands.

"If you have a tumor, please get it checked out by a doctor. They're trying to come up with a cure for this terrible, life-threatening disease."

Iggy then pulls out the Android and iPhone out again.

"Now, you're probably asking me the difference between these two cells. Well, with a plant cell, they are easier to use than the animal cell, and it's easier to play games on the plant cell. The animal cell is still good, no doubt, as getting onto social media is easier on an animal cell. All and all, if you're into different styles, you need an animal cell, while people who want an easier interface should get a plant cell. Avoid cancer cells at all costs. The rest is up for you to decide! This is Iggy, signing out!"

~7~7~7~7~7

"Which one do you want Mario?"

"Pfft, an animal cell. Duh!"

"Really? I want the plant cell."

"Plants are gross! Animal cells are better tasting!" Mario rejected.

"Plants are healthier though!" Luigi shouted, "The cancer cells are most similar to the animal cell!"

Mario shook his head at his younger brother, "Whatever. Let's go on to the next show."

**$100,000 a Day** **with Wendy O. Koopa and Mimi**

"Do you guys have money rotting in your bank that is begging you to just be spent?! Of course not, you're all peasants watching the Tonight Show instead of going to parties! Don't worry though, I'll show you how to spend ATLEAST $100,000 a day!"

Wendy and Mimi are seen standing outside of a jewelry shop. They turn around and skip over to the jewelry shop and enter into the door. Shiny, succulent jewelry is waiting for them in the shop.

"Hello missies! How can I help you?" the salesclerk asked.

"Hey! How much does it cost to buy out this store?" Wendy questioned.

"$5,482,573,572, miss," the salesclerk informed. Wendy just rolls her eyes.

"Feh, pocket change. Listen, what's the most expensive item here?"

"There's this beautiful diamond ring. It has a 50 caret diamond embedded into 82 carat gold!" the salesclerk showed.

"You idiot! Gold only goes up to 24 carets!" Mimi shouted.

"Not this kind! It's REAL gold! See, scrape it!"

Wendy scrapes the ring. Gold dust collects in her nails.

"Yeah! And real gold is so soft that a fingernail can scrape it! I'm buying it! How much?!" Wendy cried.

"$281,492," the salesclerk informed. Wendy nodded and pulls out a card.

"On debit please. Only poor losers need credit," Wendy smiled. The guy nodded as he presses some buttons.

"Hon, you need to use credit to get a credit score."

"I'M TOO COOL FOR A FREAKING CREDIT SCORE!"

Meanwhile, Mimi is looking around, and a ruby necklace catches her eye, "OH MY! HOW MUCH IS THIS RUBY NECKLACE?"

"$120,462," the clerk repeats. Wendy's eyes bulge out of her head at the price.

"OH MY SHIGERU MIYAMOTO!" Wendy screamed, "You should, like, totally get that, girl!"

"Okay!" Mimi smiled as he checks out. As she does this, Wendy turns to face the camera.

"In total, we spent $400,000 or so here! We overachieved on our goal of $100,000! Come see us next time! Wendy and Mimi, signing out!"

~7~7~7~7~7

"Oh man, those women. Shopping til they drop," Luigi stated.

"Treating their men like a free ATM," Mario responded, "I mean, what kind of man sits there and says 'WOULD YOU LIKE $10, $20 OR $40 WITHDRAWN TODAY?'?"

"Exactly!" Luigi shouted, "I deposit pasta and withdraw money."

"Yeah, explains it. Anyway, let's go to the next show."

**The Teaspoof** **with Morton Koopa Jr. and Kylie Koopa**

"Whoever chose this name for this show should burn in- I mean, hello viewers! Ignore my previous comment; Kylie chose the name! I'm your host Morton Koopa Jr! In this show, I will be going on weird, parodic adventures! And every now and then, I will have a newscast with my wonderful partner Kylie Koopa! But first, this episode is called 'Morton's Mansion'! Let's start aye?!"

As Morton pauses, a note suddenly falls down from the roof. Seeing the note, Morton picks it up and starts reading it out loud.

"'Dear Moron Poopa I-don't-know-a-good-insult-for-Junior, I have kidnapped your little girlfriend! You need to go to the mansion you won to save her! Mwahahahaha! Sincerely, King Boo.' OH NO! Kylie's been kidnapped!"

Morton walks up to a random shack in someone's backyard and enters it. Inside, a painted picture of Kylie is shown.

"Oh my! Kylie been turned into a painting! Oh no!" Morton cried, "Oh and by the way Kylie's not my girlfriend nononononononono!"

"..." the picture of Kylie said.

"IT TALKS!"

Suddenly, a large cardboard boo pops out of the picture. Morton screams his head off as he dashes out of the shack.

"Shoot! I almost wet my shell! We need to find a way to kill that cardboard boo before it kills me!"

As he says that, the shack door bursts open as several cardboard boos attached to strings come floating towards Morton. One of the cardboard boos fall flat on the ground when its strong broke off.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! THEY'RE COMING FOR ME! MOMMY!" Morton screams out loud. All of the sudden, a female Koopa comes running out towards the shack.

"Hey! You! Get off of my property! You disgraceful filth!" the Koopa starts screaming at Morton, "And take that picture of that freak out of my SHACK!"

Morton was dumbstruck, "Wh-what? That wasn't the mansion I won? But but but but who-"

"I don't care! Get off my property now!" the Koopa screamed as she tears down the cardboard boos. He then tosses the picture of Kylie to Morton, who successfully catches it.

"Well... I guess this is the end," Morton concluded as the Koopa grabs a chain saw, "Oh crap! Gotta go! Morton signing out!"

~7~7~7~7~7

"I tell ya. Women are trouble!"

"Yeah. You're telling me," Luigi agreed, "They want money and our heads."

"Well, there's the occasional nice lady out there," Mario stated, "But good luck finding them."

"Daisy's so nice. So dreamy. SO sexy-"

"Okay okay bro. None of your fantasies belong on national television now!"

"Gee, sorry!"

"Next!" Mario went on, "Is a show dedicated to finding dirty secrets! Let's see!"

**Emperor of Eavesdropping with Larry Koopa**

"Hey! Larry Koopa here! Sorry I couldn't do the show live because my spying victims - I mean subjects - are also part of this show! But anyway off that note, I will be spying on Bowser!"

"Sir?" the cameraman asked, "Shouldn't you call him King Dad?"

"King Dad? Pfft, this isn't the Mario cartoons anymore! Anyway, let's spy on him!"

Larry sneaks over to Bowser's room in Kastle Koopa and stands outside of the doorway. The cameraman, which happens to be a boo, turns himself and the camera invisible so they won't be noticed.

In Bowser's room, the King of Koopa is punching a punching bag with Mario's face taped to it.

"Take this! *POW* That's what you get for stealing Peach! *POW* This is what you get for beating me and my kids up! *POW* BULLY!"

Bowser then starts crying, then hugs the punching bag. Bowser's tears are coating the Mario picture, causing red ink to drip all over.

"It's true! Bowser secretly loves Mario!" Larry whispered in a shocked voice, "I would've never thought!"

"Oh Mario," Bowser cried, "Are you okay? I just want the princess so Junior can have a real mother! Clawdia doesn't fit! She's too nice! Oh wait Peach is nice too..."

"This is so weird..." Larry mentioned as Bowser continues to hug the punching bag.

"FORGIVE ME! PLEASE!" Bowser cried out.

"... I think we have enough info. To conclude: Bowser secretly likes Mario, but will always deny that. He also wants Peach to be Junior's mother. This is Larry Koopa, signing out!"

~7~7~7~7~7

"Bowser! That's so not like him!" Mario shouted.

"Yeah! Usually he acts all macho and kidnaps your girl," Luigi pointed out. Mario nods in agreement.

"Yep. Well he did use a punching bag. Punching bags are the only things that he can beat up!"

"And his kids."

"Exactly. Like when Ludwig and Larry got beaten up by Bowser after the end of that cartoon episode when Peach won the election," Mario remembered.

"Yeah. Well I guess the Loser gene runs in that family," Luigi nodded, "Anyway, the next show!"

**Cooking for Gluten-free Minds with Princesses Peach and Daisy**

"Hello! I'm one of your hosts, Peach!"

"And I am the other host Daisy!" the two princesses greeted as Daisy continues, "The name of this show is a nice way of saying 'Cooking for Dummies'! Aren't we so nice?!"

"I think we are! Anyway, we're gonna show you how to bake a cake!" Peach exclaimed.

After Peach and Daisy finish their announcement, they assemble out some ingredients.

"First! Put in some flour! Make sure to put the right amount in! If you have too little, your cake won't rise properly. If you have too much, then your cake will taste floury! Good luck on finding that amount, teehee. This is a secret family recipe!" Peach giggled as she measures out a certain amount of flour.

"Now! Add some sugar! We can disclose the amount this time: THE WHOLE BAG!"

"What size of bag? Teehee, you'll never know!" Peach once again giggled as Daisy pours a boatload of sugar into the flour.

"Now, get a dozen eggs, and put them in the food processor!" Daisy instructed, "Turn the food processor on high speed, so the egg shells get dissolved!"

"Then pour the egg mixture into the bowl! Mix up the eggs, flour and sugar good!" Peach instructed as Daisy pulls out a hand mixer.

"Zippidy doo dah zippidy ay," Daisy sang to herself.

Peach smiles at their current progress, "Now! Vanilla extract! Pour in a whole bottle of it in! Again I can't say how much!" Peach instructed as she pours a bottle of vanilla into the mixture as Daisy mixes, "Last, throw in the whole city of Hershey, Pennsylvania and the countries of Belgium and Switzerland into the batch. It needs to be extra chocolatey!"

Daisy then grows extra strong, shoots over to Earth, and returns with three different pieces of land. She then tosses it into the mixture.

"EEEEEEEEEEEK!" some residents screamed as the two girls carefully plucked out the residents then threw them into the trash.

"If you want blood, then just mix. But we don't want blood, so we're taking them out," Peach instructed as Daisy pours the batch into a giant cake tin.

"Now throw it in the oven and bake it at 72849114238723 degrees for 8760 hours! You'll get a yummy cake!"

A cake poofs up; several pieces of egg shell, burnt trees, limbs, and even some insect remains are found on the top. Peach and Daisy dish up a piece and pretend to enjoy it.

"This is Daisy."

"And I am Peach! We're signing out!"

~7~7~7~7~7

"Mmmmm! I want some of that cake!" Mario craved. Luigi, however, shook his head.

"That cake is gross! Only a person with a 'Gluten-free' mind will even attempt to make that!"

"Gluten-free pasta's gross!" Mario randomly stated.

"Dumbed down flour if you ask me," Luigi nodded, "Last but not least, our last show of the night!"

**Stupid Crazes with Nastasia**

"I'm Nastasia, and I hypnotize people! But some celebrities also have the power to hypnotize people into liking them! I will go over those people!"

Nastasia walks around on a stage for a bit before she speaks up again.

"The current craze affects mainly teenagers. An all-boy band called Five Defecations, made up of a goomba, koopa, magikoopa, paratroopa and a toad. Five Defecations are found everywhere on tween girls' folders, with each of them holding up signs saying 'Teriffic' and 'Wonderful'!"

Nastasia continues to walk around, trying hard not to giggle, although her expression seems to remain rock hard.

"They attempt to recreate famous pictures, like them crossing a street, the same street that The Scorpions crossed on their most famous album. Also, them taking a picture of a giant cliff that Wink-281 took their picture at years ago. Overall, tween girls like Five Defecations for a strange reason, even though they are filthy little scene-stealers with a disgusting name! This is Nastasia, signing out!"

~7~7~7~7~7

"... Okay, Nastasia is cool," Luigi recognized.

"She's awesome. She thinks the same way we do!" Mario agreed.

"Yep. Well... We must conclude this first episode of The Tonight Show with Mario and Luigi... I hope you enjoyed this eipsode!"

"Some shows from this episode will appear next time, along with appearances from Bowser, Mr. L, DImentio and possibly Goombella. For now, we want to announce the biggest part of the show."

"We want to host... INTERVIEWS! That's right, interviews!" Luigi announced, "Mario and Peach will both be interviewed next episode! If you want to be part of it, send in your questions!"

"Yeah! So, until next time! Goodbye!"

Both Mario and Luigi wave as the camera ends the transmission.

~7~7~7~7~7

**A/N: Instructions for sending in questions:**

**1: Any question is allowed! However, please look at the rating. It's rated T; let's keep it that way. No M-rated questions please, just K, K plus and T-rated questions!**

**2: Please PM me your questions. If you're a guest, you can review if you want, and I will enable 36-hour moderation so I can delete your question after I read and answer it. If you have an account and your PM is disabled, please sign out so you can be a guest.**

**3: I don't mind bad grammar at all, but please no questions that are typed like "Mrio hu ur fav luv in da wurld?" As long as your questions are readable, that's all I care about!**

**Any of these three things not followed, and I will NOT answer your question(s) in the next episode. **

**So feel free to PM me any questions you have for Mario and/or Peach!**


	2. Episode 2

**A/N: Okay, I should make a quick disclaimer.**

**Mario, Luigi, Peach, Daisy, Bowser, the Koopalings, Kylie Koopa, the Castle Bleck Gang and any other familiar characters are property of Nintendo. **

**I do not own any of these characters in this story.**

Episode 2

"Hello everyone!" Mario greeted the audience as he sat in a red chair, with Luigi and Peach sitting on both side of him.

The audience claps some more as the three characters start waving. Eventually, the audience quiets down a bit.

"Today, we have a special episode for ya today!" Luigi continued, "We will have some of our typical mini shows, along with some new ones! Last, I will interview Mario and Peach with questions that I came up with, along with some of the audience members! Let's get on with it!"

"YEEEEEAHH! LUIGI I LOVE YOU!" a random audience member screamed, followed by the audience members clapping.

"Oh um thanks! I think I have more fans than Daisy here!"

"Everyone has more fans than Daisy," Mario continued.

"Hey! Quit talking about my girl like that! We love going shopping together!" Peach cried. Mario and Luigi shook their heads.

"You two shop at 4am!" Mario informed.

"Well duh," Peach nodded, "The mall then isn't busy!"

"Whatever. Let's go to Ludwig's show."

**Beethoven's Tenth with Ludwig Von Koopa**

"Greetings, mortals. *HACK PLETH PLACK* sorry about that, Culex possessed me again. Anyway, we have three special members duking it off in a singing contest. The winner will win the second spot in my new Beethoven's Tenth symphony!"

Standing by Ludwig is Clawdia, a koopa troopa and a goomba.

"You better have your mom win!" Clawdia noted.

"The audience decides, mother..." Ludwig groaned through gritted teeth.

"&$*^#* that audience!" the goomba shouted.

"BOOOOOO!" the audience booed.

"Please don't curse on my mini show," Ludwig warned, "Anyway Clawdia-"

"Call me 'mom', dear," Clawdia interrupted. Ludwig sighs as he continues.

"Okay... Anyway, 'mom', start your song."

"Okay here I go..."

Clawdia takes in a huge breath then starts singing.

"OOOOOH YEAH! I HATE HOW YOU DID THAT TO ME! HOW COULD YOU EVER BREAK MY HEART?! I'LL BREAK YOURS WITH MY FIST!"

Clawdia then starts crying, black tears from her makeup running down her face. Ludwig tries his best to hold back his laughter.

"Hehe. He. Anyway, umm," Ludwig snickered, "Koopa troopa, sing yours."

The koopa troopa plops down on the floor and starts meditating, "Uhmmmmmmmmmm Uhmmmmmmmmmmmmm..."

Ludwig, once again trying hard to contain his laughter, starts bobbing his head to the koopa troopa's "song". The koopa troopa eventually stops his humming, but still continues to meditate.

"Umm. Okay Goomba, go ahead," commanded Ludwig.

"'Kay. STEP ON ME! LA LA LA LA LA! I MAY DROP A MUSHROOM! LA LA LA LA LA! STEP ON ME! LA LA LA LA LA! I MAY DROP A MUSHROOM! LA LA LA LA LA! STEP ON ME-"

"Okay, you're done sir. Anyway, Tonight Show audience, vote for your favorite singer!"

~7~7

The audience members pull out their keypads and votes for who they selected.

~7~7

"All right! The results are in! Let's see the results!"

Clawdia and the goomba nervously stand while the koopa troopa still sits there and meditates.

"Third place... with 3 percent of the vote... is GOOMBA!"

The goomba starts crying as he runs off the stage, tripping every now and then.

"Second place with 29 percent of the vote is... KOOPA TROOPA! Congratulations, Claw- erm, I mean MOTHER! You win with 68 percent of the vote!"

"I won?! OH MY SHIGERU MIYAMOTO!" Clawdia screamed as she once again starts crying black tears. Ludwig shakes his head.

"Back to you Mario..."

~7~7~7~7~7

"That show can get crazy," Mario informed.

"But not as crazy as our next show!" Peach spoke up.

"Well all our shows are crazy. They are crazier than a puppy hypnotized by Nastasia," Luigi told them as Peach nods.

"Yeah."

"Well! Let's go to Lemmy I guess," Mario commanded.

**Oh For Pranking Out Loud! with Lemmy Koopa**

"Hehe! Hey! I'm Lemmy, and I'm gonna be pulling a good prank on someone needing money... First, get some coins that you don't need..."

Lemmy then pulls out a blue coin, a red coin, a gold coin and a coin given to him from his grandfather.

"Second, get some super glue..."

Lemmy then pulls out a huge tube of super glue.

"And last, go to a populated place with a smooth floor."

Lemmy teleports himself to the middle of an in real life mall.

Suddenly, a girl screams, "MOMMY! LOOK AT THAT! A WALKING TURTLE WITH SPIKES!"

"Shut up Jessica! He's only dressed up for Halloween!" her mother commanded.

Lemmy facepalms himself, "I forgot to make myself invisible," he said.

He then waves his wand, turning him invisible.

"Okay, for you pranksters. Here's the process. First put some super glue on one side of the coin. Second, put the super glue side of the coin DOWN so it glues to the floor. For safety measures, stomp on the coin too so it can stick better!"

Lemmy then follows the process that he instructed, then moved out of the way, still invisible. He observes and laughs every time someone bends over and tries to pick up the coins, but failed.

"Hehe! You'll keep a desperate idiot busy for hours! Oh, and I pulled a little... Prank on one of the other shows... You'll see later, hehe. I'm Lemmy Koopa, signing out from this place called New York or something like that!"

~7~7~7~7~7

"I remember I did that once," Mario recalled.

"... You glued a coin to the floor?! When we were younger, we rarely had two coins to rub against each other!" Luigi shouted.

"No. I tried to pick up one of those coins," Mario corrected as both Luigi and Peach starts laughing their heads off, "What?! I spent 5 hours trying to get that!"

Luigi and Peach start laughing even harder, the two of them trying to breathe but making weird noises instead.

"... Oh! I get why you're laughing... I'll beat you guys up," Mario pouted.

"Hahahaha! Haha! Ha! No Mario, let's save that for 'the badass' now!" Peach shrieked in laughter.

**Ring of Fire with Roy Koopa**

Roy is standing in Star Haven by a wrestling ring, with the seven Star Spirits gathered around the ring.

"Yo, I'm Roy, but call me a badass! I'm a badass because I disobey Applebee's commercials and I don't see them tomorrow! Haha! Talk about cancelled date!"

"Roy! You're such a badass!" Misstar squealed.

"Yeah I know," Roy starts laughing, but almost immediately calms down again, "Anyway, less talking, more fighting now. In this corner is the young Star trying to prove herself: STARLOW!"

The star spirits all scream in excitement as Roy walks over to the other corner.

"And this corner is the scaredy-cat WALUIGI!"

Nobody claps for him.

"... Okay. Okay... Get ready to FIGHT!"

Starlow floats over towards Waluigi and headbutts him. Waluigi starts cowering.

"AHHHHHH! I'M AFRAID OF BEATING UP GIRLS!"

"..."

"AHH! I'M AFRAID OF DOTS!"

"Why did you have me fight an idiot?" Starlow turned towards Roy. The burly koopaling, however, just shrugs.

"Just at random."

"Well, Shigeru Miyamoto must hate me..."

"AHHHHHHHH! I'M AFRAID OF SHIGERU MIYAMOTO!"

Immediately, Waluigi gets struck by a lightning bolt.

"... Well, I guess Starlow wins. Your prize is..." Roy trailed off.

"What is it?" questioned Starlow as she gazes at Roy.

"To come back for next episode! You need a better fight!"

Starlow squeals out loud as she does a dance in the air, "THANK YOU SO MUCH!"

"You're welcome. Well, I'm Roy Koopa, signing out from a terrible fight..."

~7~7~7~7~7

"Poor Roy," Peach commented, shaking her head.

"Yeah! Waluigi's so stupid," Luigi agreed.

"Yep. Well, Iggy, Wendy and Mimi aren't here, so they can't do their shows today. Iggy's off trying to research a potion while both Mimi and Wendy are on a double date..." Mario informed the audience, "So I guess we should go to Morton and Kylie..."

**The Teaspoof with Morton Koopa Jr. and Kylie Koopa**

"Welcome to the evening news! I'm Kylie Koopa!"

"I'm Morton Koopa of course."

"Now, we have received news that Mario has cake in his pants- LEMMY, I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" Kylie screamed as Morton and the cameramen try to stifle their laughter.

"Heh. Umm... Okay, real news," Morton started, "Information has come in that local fire flower stores are giving away free fire flowers for the mentally unstable on Friday. Due to the sale, every fire department in the Mushroom Kingdom will be on high alert."

"And it has been said that female yoshi tennis superstar Serena Willshi got suspended from the Mushroom Open for serving the tennis balls with her mouth instead of her racket! She blames it on 'being confused on her species and that she's really a birdo'," Kylie continued.

"Research suggests that people that are called 'fat' are more likely to become fat eventually. It looks like everyone wants to become what people say they are."

"Oh, and sad news today. A fire in the Mushroom Kingdom's National Library has started due to electrical failure. About 3,800 perished. Mushroomers are now holding a candlelight vigil honoring the 3,800 books that were burned in the fire."

"The last item of news," Morton concluded, "A crazy man who somehow got a hold of a fire flower before the Friday deal is now setting wildfires across Desert Land, Giant Land and Pipe Land. Firefighters are working extremely hard to extinguish the man."

"Well, that's your evening news!"

"Stick with us for all your updated news, interviews and other crap! I'm Morton Koopa signing out."

"And I'm Kylie Koopa, also signing out! See ya soon!"

~7~7~7~7~7

"... MARIO! Quit looking down your pants!"

"Sorry bro... I thought I had cake in there somehow..."

"You idiot! You don't shove cake in your pants!" Luigi shouted, "And Lemmy's just being... Umm... Lemmy!"

"Yeah!" Peach giggled a bit at Mario's idiocy, "I wanna see Larry and his victim."

"Good idea," Mario nodded, "Larry, over to you!"

**Emperor of Eavesdropping with Larry Koopa**

"Hello fellow Tonighters! I am Larry Koopa and I will spy on... four different people this time!"

The camera zooms out a bit, and Larry is shown to be standing outside of a Dave and Busters.

"Seriously. Who has a date at Dave and Busters?" Larry questioned, "Whatever. Let's spy."

Larry goes up to a window, right by the table that Wendy and Mimi are sitting at. Across from Wendy sits Boom Boom, while Doopliss sits across from Mimi.

"Aww! Cute little double date!" Larry squealed, "Now, let me get closer to them. I can't hear a word they're saying. Cameras, stay outside! I'll wear my wire!"

~7~7

A bit later, Larry has his hair curled up in little hair curlers while he's wearing some make up and a black uniform. He walks up to the table with his sister at it.

"Hello! Welcome to Dave and Busters! I am Laura! What drinks can I get for you?"

Wendy smiles at Larry as she orders her drink, "Can I get a margarita? Make it virgin please; I hate alcohol."

"I want a root beer," Mimi requested.

"I want a Dr. Pepper," Boom Boom told Larry.

"Eh, just water for me. Bring out some lemons too," Doopliss ordered. Larry then smiles at them.

"All right! Those orders will be coming right up! Oh, are you guys... Friends, or on a date or something?" Larry questioned

"Yeah we are Laura. You see, I'm Wendy O. Koopa, the daughter of Bowser. I'm secretly going out with Boom Boom so don't tell anyone!"

_'Too late; you're on national television,' _Larry thought to himself before he nodded, "Secret safe with me!"

"Thank you so much Laura!" Wendy thanked as she looks over at Mimi, "Well..?"

"Oh! Sorry! I'm Mimi, and this is my boyfriend Doopliss. We can do the same magic, and we have nearly the same past. We both served masters that proved to NOT be the main villain, and the main villain actually destroyed our masters. So, we decided to date, and we're happy since!"

"Yeah slick!" Doopliss agreed as he looks at Laura, "Don't tell anyone!"

Larry tried his best to hold his giggle, but nods his head. He then runs outside and stands in front of the camera.

"There's the dirty secrets! This is Larry, signing out! Now, time to make a virgin margarita!"

~7~7~7~7~7

"What?! Wendy's dating Boom Boom?!" Luigi gasped.

A ton of woos are emitted from the audience as they all clap. During the clapping, Mario moves the show on.

"Okay. Next mini show."

**Fiery Rage with Bowser Koopa**

"Hey wimps, this is your burly king here, Bowser! First, I want to rant about goombas! Yes, goombas! Seriously, goombas are so useless! I mean, play Super Mario Bros and try to kill a goomba! You can almost RUN into a goomba and kill it! I need much stronger things in my army than those stupid goombas who can do nothing but look like brown idiots and confuse people sometimes! In short, goombas are useless! THAT'S MY FIERY RAGE!"

~7~7~7~7~7

"Short show, but tons of logic as far as Bowser's concerned," Mario informed.

"Yep. Bowser can actually be... well smart," Peach told them.

"Not as smart as the person in the next show. She is about to prove that Bowser is wrong! Let's see it!" Luigi announced as the audience claps.

**Tattle Log with Goombella**

"Hey guys! You guys probably remember me from Roy's mini show last time, or more importantly, Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door! I will now examine 'the king of the Koopas', Bowser."

**Bowser Koopa**

HP: 40

Attack: 0

Defense: 666

Bowser is a self-absorbed little snob. He is much more of a snob than Pauline and Eclair is believed to be. COMBINED. Of course, he has a soft spot for his eight kids and his high-ranking minions such as Kamek, Kammy, Boom Boom and Pom Pom. He just does not show that openly.

Bowser's attack can increase dramatically in two ways: One, show him a picture of Mario, and two: Turn off his afternoon soap opera. In both cases, his attack level will rise to a POWERFUL 2 POINTS!

Overall, Bowser is hard to attack, but he won't do crap to you unless you prevent him from seeing what happened to Jennifer after JJ was caught selling and smoking weed.

"And there's Bowser Koopa for you guys! This is Goombella, signing out!"

~7~7~7~7~7

"I never knew Bowser liked soap operas!" Luigi expressed. Peach simply giggled.

"I did. We always watched them together while Mario busted his overalls saving me."

"Glad YOU have freaking fun, Peach," Mario rolled his eyes.

"Anyway, two more mini shows and the interviews, then we're done for the night!" Luigi announced, "Let's get on with the next mini show!"

**Can we fix it? Yes we can! with Mr. L**

"I'm Mr. L. Unlike what Super Paper Mario said, I'm actually a real person and not Luigi's dark side... Do you guys have problems with your appliances? Well, good news: I'll be showing you HOW to fix them! Save a ton of money! Okay first, I will show you how to fix a blender."

Mr. L pulls out a perfectly nice blender.

"First, unscrew the little screws at the bottom, and you'll see a ton of wires."

Mr. L proceeds to unscrew the bottom of the blender.

"Now, the wires. Switch the blue wire with the red wire. After that, make sure you put super glue all over in the bottom. Last, close it up tightly."

Mr. L follows his own instructions, then turns on the blender. However, the blender starts acting weird until the blender sucks in Mr. L, transporting him into a medieval setting.

"... I think I just went back in time!" Mr. L squealed, "I just proved the Theory of Relativity to be false!"

"Who art thou?" a lady in a weird looking dress questioned, "Husband! Come hither! Thou hast a robber!"

A guy, also in a skirt thing, comes over to Mr. L.

"Thou shalt be slaughtered come sunup! Thou and thy family shall be killed. O ye that embark in the slaughter of thee shalt bathe in your blood!"

All of the sudden, Mr. L appears int he present time, with a frightened look on his face.

"Uhh ughh... Okay... Mr. L, OUT!"

~7~7~7~7~7

"I WANNA GO BACK IN TIME!" Luigi cried, "Then I could leave Mario in Brooklyn while I save Peach-"

"Then you wouldn't have Daisy as your girlfriend," Mario fired back. Luigi thought of what his elder brother just mentioned.

"Yeah... You're right. No offense Peach but... I think Daisy's better."

"I think she's better for you too," Peach admitted as she smiled at Luigi, "You two are a cute couple!"

"Yeah I know..." Luigi blushed a bit, "Okay last mini show!"

**Oh Oh It's Magic with Dimentio**

"I'm Dimentio of course, the sexiest Bleck minion there is! Umm... Wanna learn magic? Well, I'll teach you! First, levitation!"

Dimentio then levitates a random vase in the room. Suddenly, he acts as if he has some type of headache and doesn't focus on the magic, causing the vase to smash down on the floor, breaking into thousands of pieces.

"Augh! Sorry! Anyway, in order to levitate, first point to an object, then crook your finger up a bit. You know, there's this movie called Matilda and I think she's more pro at explaining levitation than me..."

Dimentio then points at the camera, and causes it to levitate into the sky. Eventually, the camera leaves the atmosphere, to the planet where the Shroobs are on. The camera then lands in Princess Shroob's room.

"^&% #&^%#&%% &^%%^ (What is this camera?)" Princess Shroob questioned nobody in particular.

"&* ^*&^&#*^ *^&# !*(&*^*$#$&*&#$* (Not sure. We should destroy it. It's a threat!)" Commander Shroob suggested. Princess Shroob nodded.

"&*^$#*&%^*&^&#%^%&*#%&^%&- (Okay, here we go. HIYA-)"

~7~7~7~7~7

"Well... I guess that's the end of Dimentio's show," Mario said.

"Yep! You all know what time it is!" Luigi announced.

"INTERVIEW TIME!" the audience shouted out loud as they all clap for about half a minute. After their clappings settled down, Luigi pulls out a cue cards.

"Okay, Mario and Peach. Hello!"

"Hey!" Peach greeted back.

"... Umm," Luigi announced, "Let me see. Mario, why the red layout?"

"Well... It's a long story bro, something I probably didn't tell you. Back when we cleaned nasty decaying toilets, I decided to be in red."

"Well duh! I know that. But WHY RED?"

"Red is a personality color that stands for Leadership. My overalls are blue also, and the personality color Blue stands for Loyalty. The white around the M on my hat is white, and white stands for peace. Which makes sense y'know. I have to drag your butt out of bed, shop for you and have things go your way just for things to be settled."

"OKAY! Whatever! That's a lie!" Luigi shouted, "But that's interesting either way. Umm... Peach, why the pink?"

"I LOVE PINK!" Peach squealed, "EHEHEHEHEHEHEHE-"

"Ugh, my ears. You're worse than Rosalina's singing last episode! Anyway Peach, what do you think of Bowser?"

"He's fine whenever he's not acting all macho and tough. Which is 99 percent of the time, of course. Other than that, he's cool. He LOVES Days of our Lives! That's my favorite soap! I always make sure to record that soap every time I have to do stupid kingdom stuff!"

"... Umm, interesting... To the point where I'm actually speechless. That's why I'm gonna ask some random audience members for their questions. SEAT 281! Ask your question!"

_"Hey! I'm dragon19kyoshi!" _the character announced as the rest of the audience says hello, _"Mario: If you love to race in Mario Kart, what is your favorite course?"_

Mario pauses for a second before answering the question, "Umm... That's a good question Dragon19kyoshi... You know, that's a mouthful. Can I just call you Dragon? Anyway umm... There's Mario Circuit in Double Dash. That one was awesome. Wario courses suck bad because they're made after a fat yellow evil me, so no Wario courses. UGH I just can't think-"

"Mario. Answer his question in a clear matter please..." Luigi commanded.

"Okay! Fine! I love Mario Circuit in Double Dash, along with both Koopa Cape and Maple Treeway in Mario Kart Wii! If I had to choose one, it'd be Koopa Cape though."

"Koopa Cape! I love that place! Not as much as Coconut Mall, of course..." Peach winked at Mario, "I want to go to Coconut Mall on Friday, and bring my 'personal ATM' there too. Teehee!"

"Oh no you don't Peach!" Mario declined, "I have a headache!"

"You're not gonna have a headache until Friday..."

"Maybe I will!"

Before any arguments can take place, Luigi quickly shuts the characters up.

"Okay! Okay! Next question! SEAT 159!"

_"Hey! I'm a HUGE fan of your games," _a female character in Seat 159 admitted, _"Anyway! I'm Corny354, and _I have questions for both Mario and Peach:

_Peach: Do you ever get tired of wearing pink? _

_Mario: Instead of going through, like, 18,000 worlds to save Peach, have you ever thought of building a warp pipe that leads straight to Bowser's Castle?"_

"Hi Corny354! Umm... I get asked this question a lot really. I am quite the girly-girl, so I love the color pink. I admit it can be a bit bland wearing pink everything, but I still love the color. I rather wear pink every day rather than, say, black every day."

"You didn't answer her question thoroughly," Luigi warned.

"Oh," Peach said in an embarrassed tone, "I like SHOPPING for pink stuff, so it's my fault really. It wasn't like that at first. That old dusty mushroom Toadsworth trained me to like pink since I'm a princess and other crap..."

"Corny, I never thought of that! Mainly because at the beginning, I never think due to the rush of... What's that one hormone?"

"Adrenaline?" Luigi offered.

"YEAH! But I get this rush of adrenaline that causes me to go after Bowser the way he came instead of creating a shortcut. By the time I get Peach back, all I want to do is party and celebrate. So it always brushed my mind. But thanks to you and your ideas, I'll have Bowser's Castle connected to the Pipe Maze!"

Luigi nods at the idea, but Peach shakes her head, "Then it'll be easier for Bowser to kidnap me through a warp pipe."

"We'll figure out something. But thanks Corny for the idea!" Mario thanked as both he and Peach turn to Luigi.

"Huh? Oh right. More questions! SEAT 92!"

_"Hey! My name is AlliTheSuperGenius004! Here's my questions: _

_Mario: What are your thoughts on your brother Luigi? Is he a total loser or the best brother you can ever hope for?_

_Peach: How's your relationship with Mario? Have you gotten pass that "oh we're just friends!" phase yet?_

"Answer Alli's question now, Mario!" Luigi gave his brother a death stare. Mario does a little anime sweat drop before answering.

"Luigi's cool. He doesn't get as much popularity as me, but remember: I save Peach, Daisy, Queen Bean, ANYONE really. But some times, I can't save myself. That's when Luigi comes in. He saved me not once, but twice!"

Luigi's jaw drops at Mario's answer.

"Despite that, he sucks!"

Luigi starts doing a little pouty face.

"JUST KIDDING! Luigi's an awesome brother to have. He can be difficult at times but he's awesome."

"Aww Mario! You're so sweet!" Peach cooed, "Me and Mario passing the friend stage? Umm..."

Peach starts blushing uncontrollably.

"Okay okay... Yes, we're past it... Just a bit... Like he's my 'Personal ATM' like I said earlier."

Luigi laughs a bit before adding, "Alli, don't worry. Here in the Mushroom Kingdom, that means they're... Umm... Boyfriend and girlfriend."

The whole audience coos and claps as both Mario and Peach start blushing uncontrollably. Luigi, seeing the two near-tomatoes, decides that now would be a perfect time to end the show.

"Umm.. We're gonna go for tonight. Next time's interview will be with me and Daisy! Of course, if you have a question for Mario and Peach, it's still not too late to ask! Goodbye!"

~7~7~7~7~7

**A/N: Feel free to PM/review any questions for Luigi and Daisy! I won't be as harsh on the PM-only rule, but the M-rated stance STILL stands. Only K, K plus and T-rated questions please. :P**


End file.
